Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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