sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
