I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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