His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
