Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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