she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
