he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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