WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
