I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
