There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just found a bag of teeth...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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