after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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