i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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