There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
