clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
