He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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