Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
