come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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