Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
