His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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