there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
