Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
