508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
now i know why i became what i already was.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
