U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He passed out mid-signature
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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