the new term for farting is butt boxing.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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