I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize