i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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