we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
