I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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