Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize