Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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