And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize