Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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