come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I love having hate sex.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
