If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
