But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
