I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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