Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
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