So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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