She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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