ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
