Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
