I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
