A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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