Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
