She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
