My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
