have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
