Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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