"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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