Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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