you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
