he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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