Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
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After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
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to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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