There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
