The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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