I wanna passion pit in your ass
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize